CBS's Sarah Hughes reports that despite marital stresses which can often accompany tough economic times, marriages can remain strong and divorce rates can be lowered.
How to Prevent Divorce
Understand
It is essential to understand the conflicts that arise in your marriage in order to save your relationship and rebuild the bond you once had with your partner. Unresolved disputes tend to create tension, and if allowed to prolong, would create the distance, which ultimately would lead a couple to feel detached from each other.
Stop
If you are truly fed up and you want the arguing to stop, all you have to do is just stop. A simple push on the stop button and an admission that “hey, we have to stop arguing,” is necessary. The issue is not about who’s right or who’s wrong anymore. Do you really think that your pride and anger weigh more than your relationship? If your partner can’t seem to give up, then learn to compromise. That doesn’t make you less of a person. It simply shows how mature you are to be willing to swallow your pride for something more important.
Check list
When it comes to making a list of reasons why your marriage is experiencing difficulty, the simplest way is to do it in stages. At the start, it is going to be very emotional and painful. It will involve being entirely honest with yourself about how you think your spouse has failed you and about the hurtful or nasty things your spouse has done. No matter how difficult it is, you can only move on to stages of healing after identifying these issues.
Work it out
Let your partner know how you feel. Just tell them how you feel about not being informed. You can say, “I feel that you don’t respect me…” instead of directly saying “You don’t respect me…” By doing so, you are not accusing the other, but you are just letting your spouse know that you are hurt by the behavior. The advantage of stating what you feel is that the other person is not entitled to refute what you feel; they can only listen.
Compromise
In any relationship, compromise is a fundamental act that binds a couple in harmony. When two entirely different people come together in a relationship, it is the blend of two cultures. Each one has a different family background, educational attainment, beliefs, needs, and ethical standards. When living together, couples need to make compromises as a part of their everyday life because marriage is a give-and-take relationship.
Accept
Having a positive, healthy relationship involves the understanding that plenty of things in your marriage will never be perfect. You will need to accept these imperfections and move on from them.
Rebuild
Repairing the damage that has been done would require forgiveness and self-reflection, as well. This may not be easy to do, but the process eventually gets manageable and easier in time.
Move forward
There are times when the conflicts and weaknesses in the marriage become so overpowering. Remind yourself of all the wonderful things in your relationship. Communicate and compromise, even though it may be difficult at first. Eventually, you will realize that your efforts are very much worth it.
It is essential to understand the conflicts that arise in your marriage in order to save your relationship and rebuild the bond you once had with your partner. Unresolved disputes tend to create tension, and if allowed to prolong, would create the distance, which ultimately would lead a couple to feel detached from each other.
Stop
If you are truly fed up and you want the arguing to stop, all you have to do is just stop. A simple push on the stop button and an admission that “hey, we have to stop arguing,” is necessary. The issue is not about who’s right or who’s wrong anymore. Do you really think that your pride and anger weigh more than your relationship? If your partner can’t seem to give up, then learn to compromise. That doesn’t make you less of a person. It simply shows how mature you are to be willing to swallow your pride for something more important.
Check list
When it comes to making a list of reasons why your marriage is experiencing difficulty, the simplest way is to do it in stages. At the start, it is going to be very emotional and painful. It will involve being entirely honest with yourself about how you think your spouse has failed you and about the hurtful or nasty things your spouse has done. No matter how difficult it is, you can only move on to stages of healing after identifying these issues.
Work it out
Let your partner know how you feel. Just tell them how you feel about not being informed. You can say, “I feel that you don’t respect me…” instead of directly saying “You don’t respect me…” By doing so, you are not accusing the other, but you are just letting your spouse know that you are hurt by the behavior. The advantage of stating what you feel is that the other person is not entitled to refute what you feel; they can only listen.
Compromise
In any relationship, compromise is a fundamental act that binds a couple in harmony. When two entirely different people come together in a relationship, it is the blend of two cultures. Each one has a different family background, educational attainment, beliefs, needs, and ethical standards. When living together, couples need to make compromises as a part of their everyday life because marriage is a give-and-take relationship.
Accept
Having a positive, healthy relationship involves the understanding that plenty of things in your marriage will never be perfect. You will need to accept these imperfections and move on from them.
Rebuild
Repairing the damage that has been done would require forgiveness and self-reflection, as well. This may not be easy to do, but the process eventually gets manageable and easier in time.
Move forward
There are times when the conflicts and weaknesses in the marriage become so overpowering. Remind yourself of all the wonderful things in your relationship. Communicate and compromise, even though it may be difficult at first. Eventually, you will realize that your efforts are very much worth it.
"How to Prevent Divorce." How to Prevent Divorce. How to Prevent Divorce, 2012.
Web. 13 Mar. 2012. <http://www.howtopreventdivorce.net/>.
Picture:
"Unique Marriage Proposals." ASDFing. Googler, 2012. Web. 18 Apr. 2012.
<http://www.asdfing.com/unique-marriage-proposals/>.
Components of a Successful Marriage
Chemistry: Having passion and excitement in a marriage is important throughout the duration of marriage, not only at the beginning. For two people to stay together, there has to be excitement and love between them that is evident in their everyday life and makes them happy to be around the other.
Respect: Both partners need to have and feel respect regarding the other person. This means respecting their life decisions and morals, even if the other doesn't always agree. A partner needs to feel that they are lucky to have the other in their life and respect them for who they are.
Enjoyment: It is important that a couple is able to have fun with one another. If you are going to spend your life with a person, nothing is more important than wanting to spend time with them. Even if you don't necessarily like doing the same things or have the same interests, spouses need to compromise and find things that can enjoy together.
Acceptance: Where you unconditionally accept and feel accepted for each others essence, based on who you each are, not what you each do or what the other person wishes you would do. It is important that you accept your partner for who they are and do not try to change them, and that you feel equally accepted for your morals and beliefs.
Trust: Arguably the most important component of a successful marriage, trust is the foundation of a good relationship. If one partner cheats, lies, or is dishonest, the couple can have no way of trusting one another and will eventually fall apart. That means sharing everything with your partner even if you are embarrassed by it or are afraid of how they might react. Being open with the other person may be difficult at first, but it has much less severe consequences than lying.
Empathy: where you understand and feel understood by each other. This goes far beyond feeling figured out. It’s walking in the other’s shoes and if when you’re there you see they need comfort or reassurance, giving it to them. At its best you feel “felt” and unalone in a world that seems to conspire daily to make you feel alone.
Goulston, Mark. "What causes divorce? And how to prevent it." Psychology Today.
Sussex Directories, 2012. Web. 1 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/just-listen/201011/
what-causes-divorce-and-how-prevent-it>.
Picture:
"Marriage Preparation." Diocese of Wiona. Diocese of Wiona, 2010. Web. 18 Apr.
2012. <http://www.dow.org/Departments/Life/MarriagePreparation.aspx>.
Marriage Counseling
What is it?
Marriage counseling helps couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships. Through marriage counseling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding your relationship or going your separate ways.
Who leads it?
Marriage counseling is often provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists. These therapists have graduate or postgraduate degrees — and many choose to become credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).
Why might I need it?
Some couples seek marriage counseling to strengthen their bonds and gain a better understanding of each other. Marriage counseling can also help couples who plan to get married. This pre-marriage counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences before marriage.
In other cases, couples seek marriage counseling to improve a troubled relationship. You can use marriage counseling to address many specific issues, including:
Sussex Directories, 2012. Web. 1 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/just-listen/201011/
what-causes-divorce-and-how-prevent-it>.
Picture:
"Marriage Preparation." Diocese of Wiona. Diocese of Wiona, 2010. Web. 18 Apr.
2012. <http://www.dow.org/Departments/Life/MarriagePreparation.aspx>.
Marriage Counseling
What is it?
Marriage counseling helps couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships. Through marriage counseling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding your relationship or going your separate ways.
Who leads it?
Marriage counseling is often provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists. These therapists have graduate or postgraduate degrees — and many choose to become credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).
Why might I need it?
Some couples seek marriage counseling to strengthen their bonds and gain a better understanding of each other. Marriage counseling can also help couples who plan to get married. This pre-marriage counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences before marriage.
In other cases, couples seek marriage counseling to improve a troubled relationship. You can use marriage counseling to address many specific issues, including:
- Communication problems
- Sexual difficulties
- Conflicts about child rearing or blended families
- Substance abuse
- Financial problems
- Anger
- Infidelity
- Divorce
The Center for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy
Psychologists
Counselors
Clinical Social Worker
Religious Counselor
Mayo Clinic staff. "Marriage counseling." Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for
Medical Education and Research, 2012. Web. 18 Apr. 2012.
<http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/marriage-counseling/MY00839>.
Medical Education and Research, 2012. Web. 18 Apr. 2012.
<http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/marriage-counseling/MY00839>.
Cartoon:
Parisi, Mark. "Magic Left in Relationship." Cartoon. Off the Mark. Mark Parisi,
2012. Web. 18 Apr. 2012. <http://www.offthemark.com/cartoons/
marriage+counseling>.
Video:
2012. Web. 18 Apr. 2012. <http://www.offthemark.com/cartoons/
marriage+counseling>.
Video:
| Fewer Divorces in America. CBS News, 2009. Youtube. Web. 13 Mar. 2012. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhYSXPB6_kk&feature=fvst>. |
