Causes

Why are people getting divorced?
Mark Goulston, Psychology Today, explains that when issues arise in a marriage, it is not that spouses love each other less, they just hate each other a little more. He suggests working on finding the good in each other, remind you of why you love them, and to resolve the hatred. That seems to happen in almost all relationships as you discover imperfections in people -- but are imperfections a reason to divorce? (5)

Top Ten Reasons for Divorce

1. Communication -- Communication is the foundation for health relationships. If there's a problem in your marriage and you try the silent routine or the "bury your head in the sand" response, you are most likely heading for divorce than couples that attempt to work out their problems. No ones if perfect, and telling someone what they can do to help you is important if a relationship is going to work.

2. Money -- If one spouse spends money without telling their partner, loses their job and the combined income falls, and they can no longer buy certain things, all other problems will boil down to money. Couples who are relatively successful with their finances and share their financial troubles are less likely to argue and thus head towards divorce.

3. Cheating -- It doesn't matter who is involved, for how long and why, because infidelity causes pain and suffering to parties involved. Some marriages are able to survive infidelity but many don't.

4. Wrong expectations -- One partner thinks the world of their spouse and wants to live happily ever after. But we are all human, we all have faults. And when a person cannot look past those imperfections, and only want what they think they deserve, the relationship and compatibility begins to deteriorate. 

5. Commitment -- Marriage is a partnership and it takes two people to make it work. If both partners don't care about the relationship, then their marriage will certainly die. Even if only one partner doesn't commit wholeheartedly to the marriage, the marriage can still be undone. Both partners need to commit and it almost always means making sacrifices, which is what commitment is all about. Without a solid support for the partnership from both partners, divorce could very well be a possibility.

6. Addictions -- Once the addiction takes over, a person's life is often in turmoil. If they are married, they will have difficulty living with each other. A relationship cannot work if there is something else that dominates their life.

7. Sex -- Of course the intimate and physical side of a marriage is important and problems in this area can cause stress and lead to divorce, but as people get older and more mature, hopefully they realize that personal happiness is not centered only on sexual relations. Having children, being healthy, successful, and growing together as a couple are just as important

8. Mid-life crisis -- It's possible they may but such an abrupt and seemingly selfish determination can have a big impact on their partner. Massive change may be scary or unnecessary to the spouse, making them judge this abrupt and often selfish determination for self betterment. The turmoil from this new lust for life can be the cause of many a divorce among couples who have been married for many years.

9. Little Things -- It seems hard to believe that a partner's snoring is the cause of a marriage failure but it may be true, at least in part. Not being able to get enough sleep can be enormously stressful but you would think a loving partner would find another bed or bedroom or seek professional help. However, if a marriage is under strain for another reason such as money troubles, a small thing like snoring could be the last straw.

10. Society -- Rules regarding divorce have changed greatly. It is no longer generally frowned upon since it has become so common, and separation and divorce is not seen as something to be ashamed of. Additionally, divorce has become so easy that is makes divorce a quick jump when problems arise. (1)

Is Social Media to Blame?
Several marriage psychologists are blaming the increase of divorce on our changing and fast-paced society. “With the increase in technology and access to social networking, where we are thrown millions of people who we know everything about, the need for intimate relationships have decreased”, explains Marriage and Separation Advice (4). In our new tech-savvy society, we have become used to demanding quick and efficient information.When no longer take the time to get to know someone. We make immediate judgements about them, and if they turn out different, we think they keep secrets or have greatly changed. On the same note, increased social media allows us to easily find others who might be acceptable replacements to our current partner, or as Christopher Lasch explains, “a gateway for affairs” (3).

Erin Burnet's, CNN, news report on how Facebook can be a cause for divorce:

Women's Rights effect on Divorce

Christopher Lasch, divorce investigator from The Atlantic, blames high divorce rates on the social status changes of women that have taken place in recent history. In the 19th and early 20th century, women weren’t legally allowed to file for divorce, leaving the decision to their husband, who could easily find mistresses without the judgement of society. And although divorce laws were changed as women were increasingly seen as victims of hate-filled marriages, Lasch explains, women still heavily relied on their husband’s income and stability throughout most of the 20th century. But as women have gained political and economic rights in America, some believe that divorce rates has risen because women now have the “ability” to divorce that they didn’t have before. Lasch explains, “The fact that most divorce proceedings are now instituted by women would seem to confirm the suspicion that the relaxation of old taboos against divorce represents still another victory for women's rights”(3).

Source:

1."The 10 Most Common Causes of Divorce ." Marriage and Separation Advice. Divorce
     Guide, 2012. Web. 1 Mar. 2012. <http://www.divorceguide.com/
     free-divorce-advice/marriage-and-separation-advice/
     the-10-most-common-causes-of-divorce.html>.

2. Picture: Couple refusing to communicate. 2011. The Rhode Island Divorce Mediation
Organization. The Rhode Island Divorce Mediation Organization, 2012.
Web. 9 Apr. 2012. http://rhodeislanddivorcemediation.org/.

3. Lasch, Christopher. “Divorce and the Family in America.” The Atlantic. Atlantic

Monthly Group, 2012. Web. 12 Mar. 2012.

magazine/archive/1966/11/divorce-and-the-family-in-america/5942/3/>.

4. “The 10 Most Common Causes of Divorce.” Marriage and Separation Advice. Divorce

Guide, 2012. Web. 1 Marc. 2012.

Free-divorce-advice/marriage-and-separation-advice/

The-10-most-common-causes-of-divorce.html>.

5. Goulston, Mark. “What causes divorce? And how to prevent it.” Psychology Today.

Sussex Directories. 2012. Web. 1 Mar. 2012.

what-causes-divorce-and-how-prevent-it>.